#3 NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR ESSENCE

Call it conventional wisdom, call it the "lowest common denominator" of actor business advice or maybe just the product of the classroom exercise when a whole room of actors volunteer their ideas of how casting directors "oughta" use you after seeing you in your street clothes or your commercial headshot.

Inexperienced actors are awash with this bad advice which reeks of armchair psychology or unneeded and ad-hoc therapy. Maybe you heard this from your podcaster or acting "business coach", you know, the one who charges you by the hour, like a therapist.

I’d like to offer an alternative idea: nobody cares about your essence, your personality. What they care about is YOUR LOOK.  (And within certain constraints, YOUR LOOK is subject only to the limits of your creative imagination and/or your willingness to train with Logan Hood).

Or more specifically, whether you “look right for the role” and only subsequently whether you have the acting chops to convincingly bring the character to life. Because nothing ruins a great drama storyline more than an antagonist that the audience doesn’t find particularly disturbing or scary or convincing.

I was hoping to find a key example of this as I am tired of explaining that professional film and television productions need, on a regular basis, actors to play drug addicts and murderers but I think it’s quite apparent that no professional production wants to hire an actor who is an actual drug addict or an actual murderer. Since we can likewise assume that the upstanding members of the professional acting community are neither drug addicts nor murderers, WHERE ON EARTH DO CASTING DIRECTORS LOCATE THESE THESPIANS?

The answer is in the photographs initially and subsequently in the body of work and the relevant audition tape(s). I think I have found the litmus test here (below), a role which was published on a popular crime time procedural this week; because I can’t publish the exact role, I asked Chat to paraphrase it:

[NORFOLK] A male character in his 30s, Norfolk embodies the darker facets of humanity. He is characterized by his reprehensible actions as a serial offender, demonstrating a disturbing pattern of behavior. Accustomed to the leniencies of the criminal justice system, he views it as nothing more than a minor inconvenience, a quickly turning revolving door that barely hinders his actions. This role is for a ONE DAY GUEST STAR appearance, requiring a portrayal that captures the essence of a deeply flawed individual who navigates through life with a disconcerting sense of impunity.

So let’s start with your thesis: that the casting director is primarily concerned with “your essence”, “your personality” and possibly the overall American experience that you had prior to moving to Hollywood. Which might have included Julliard or Yale Drama or American Conservatory Theatre (all high status environments). And the look you wear to carry the weight of cultural expectations. From your wife, your parents, your workplace peers.

YOUR THEORY: YOU HAVE “THE ESSENCE” OF A SERIAL OFFENDER

• You audition for the role and the casting director says: "You remind me of a person from college or high school I knew that was convicted of this crime."  Do you have any experience committing horrific crimes?  Because you definitely have the essence of a criminal who commits horrific crimes.  Possibly dismembering or otherwise reprehensible acts of extremely intimate and personal violence.
• You book the role and subsequently, on the set, you need to be sequestered from the rest of the male or female cast because of the apparent danger of having someone with the essence of a serial offender working in a professional environment filled with a variety of high functioning professionals trying to produce one hour of episodic television every 10 days.  The production provides a security detail and a private investigator and maybe a temporary cell to make sure that your essential qualities as a serial criminal do not actually lead to you targeting any of the women or men in the production environment. Your parole officer is on set to supervise your activities.
• After the job is over you return to prison to carry out the remainder of your sentence.

And now my alternative thesis: starting with your genotype (unfortunately, if you were born this way, or if you're clever, you've crafted a personal style aligned with the role), you have smart talent reps who know a creepy face when they see one and encourage you to specialize or target these types of creepy roles. Subsequently, you work with a great photographer to bring out your creepy or unsettling side. Maybe you have weird eyes or sweaty male pattern baldness or look like Danny McBride’s sociopathic older brother. It’s not about your personality or essence, it’s about whether YOU LOOK RIGHT FOR THE ROLE.

MY THEORY: YOUR LOOK IMPLIES YOU HAVE CREEPY CRIMINAL TENDENCIES

• Maybe your face has an unsettling quality. Call it strange genes or bad photography. But there is something in the photograph that compels the casting office to think of you as an excellent choice to play a serial criminal. You might have reservations about being cast this way. You might try to talk your agent out of auditioning for the role.
• During the audition, your commitment to the craft of acting and your extensive preparation for the role further convinces the casting personnel that you are an excellent candidate to bring this FICTIONAL CHARACTER to life on the big screen.
• When reviewing audition tapes submitted by casting directors to producers / directors, the creative team unanimously agrees that of all the creepy, disgusting audition tapes that were sent for the role, yours is the most convincing, the most creepy, the most disgusting.
• You book the role and the hair, makeup and wardrobe department further enhances your suitability for the role by making you look even more creepy, more unsettling and more like a serial criminal who targets innocent people with horrific criminal acts. On set everyone agrees “you look really creepy” and during principal photography everyone is amazed at how detailed and realistic your portrayal is.
• However, between takes everyone enjoys your professional candor and good nature. Maybe you crack up the entire cast with your Nicholas Cage impression.
• After the shoot the entire production is happy to have successfully cast what is arguably a sensitive topic and difficult role to put on television.
• You make a career out of playing creepy, weird characters who are essential to narrative storytelling. Think Christopher Walken.

Have you heard somewhere that a protagonist is only as good as the antagonist? Well, it’s true.

Consider creeps Rami Malek in NO TIME TO DIE or Javier Bardem in NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN or SKYFALL